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“A week later, maybe you’d be like, ‘I should reach out.’” Gone are the days when dates had to be an elaborate night out at a buzzy restaurant or club.Now, watching a few episodes of “Westworld” is considered a hot date. “Even if you don’t have sex while you watch, you can finish a show and have something to talk about.” A survey found that millennials are 270 percent more likely than other generations to be turned on if their match watches the same TV show.Agape Match’s Avgitidis says that dating sites have seen a big uptick in people noting their political preferences on their profiles.
“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.
“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.
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But such shenanigans are now considered passé, given how we’re all constantly looking at our smartphones.
“I don’t want to be with someone who’s going to play games and feel weird if I text them to say hello,” Donahue says.“If there’s not an immediate spark, you’re wasting both of your time,” says Manley.The advice used to be to avoid talk of politics and former relationships on early dates, but now many favor putting it all out there from the beginning.While some might lament the loss of anonymity, Manley adds that this isn’t always such a bad thing.With time, a no-strings hookup could turn into something more.Foltz, 29, says it can be tricky, but that gender norms are still at play.“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.Manley is on the same page, but his reasoning is more economical: “Guys still [usually] make more money than women, so they should offer to pay, regardless of whoever asked out whom,” he says.“There’s a sort of New Age chivalry about that.” Unfortunately, the rule seems even less clear for those in the LGBT community, says Morningside Heights resident and comedian Stephanie Foltz, who is bisexual.Last-minute offers used to mean you were a second choice, and the advice was to save face and your self-respect by saying, “Nope.” But with the ability to find a potential match now sped up to the nth degree, that rule has been turned on its head.“When I was on Tinder, you’d match, chat for 45 minutes, and then she’d be like, ‘Let’s go on a date tomorrow,’” Manley says. It saves you time figuring out if this is the right person.” Forget having a one-night stand and never seeing the person again.