To abuse the metaphor further, you want to be tossing as much out there as you can and seeing what floats to the top. Some people are just going to disappear off the face of the earth with no warning.
It’s one thing when you’re meeting women in person – unless you’re a graduate of the Lando Calrissian Player School, then you’re only going to be flirting with one woman at a time. Even if someone seems perfect on paper, you have no idea how well you’re going to work out in person… Even two or three dates isn’t enough to preclude things not working out.
She’s still interested but needs a little more time to be comfortable. Cool, you don’t need to waste any more time with her; move on and find someone who interested in them, odds are that somebody else is too…
and your online honey-bunny is talking to them, too.
By spending so much time trading emails back and forth, you’re bleeding emotional momentum.
That initial rush of interest goes away quickly if you wait too long to actually make your move; they’ll almost always start to assume you’re not . If you’ve been exchanging emails back and forth, then they’re interested in talking to you; take “yes” for an answer and say “You know, I think getting to know someone over drinks is better than just emailing back and forth, don’t you? It’s fairly simple: the magic number is typically when you’ve exchanged 3 or 4 emails. Much like talking in person, if they’re writing long emails or asking lots of questions, they’re definitely into you; short, terse responses mean that they’re not quite feeling it.Odds are good that they may well be going on dates, as well; not everybody is going to put all other interactions on hold Getting over-invested in one person is a great recipe for frustration and needless heartbreak.If dating is akin to fishing (hence “Plenty o’ Fish”, from the stale platitude “there’re plenty of other fish in the sea…”) then you want to be fishing with .It takes slightly longer than hitting “wink” (unless you’re like me and kept two to three variations in a text file that you could copy and paste in as needed…) but it’s also far more likely to get an actual response instead of a silent eye-roll. You may be trying to feel things out and get to know them.You may be trying to avoid getting shot down and want to wait until you’re actually going to meet her in public.Yes, there are occasionally people who use OKCupid like a sex ATM. Women have it just as bad as men do – they may get deluged by guys who assume we’re the lone exception, that those non-responses are somehow a judgement of us as a person and that everyone else has it better or easier than we do.Sometimes that anger and resentment spills out into your messages to other people – I’ve lost track of the number of “You won’t talk to me, you must be some BITCH!!! ” messages that my female friends have shared with me.The best thing about it, though, is that it’s a no-lose situation.If you ask and she says “yes”, then congratulations! If she says “not yet,” but suggests maybe another time soon?The key is to be short and sweet; the longer the email, the more likely it’s going to seem as though you’re too desperate. if you’re already assuming that they’re not likely to write back time writing out a sonnet?I’m a fan of the dating site email template – less of a form letter and more of a very easily customizable email that you send out in order to save time.