I brushed it aside and kept my guard up, but still continued on. We said we had feelings for each other and liked where it was going, but we were not exclusive yet. I guess "I don't want a relationship" doesn't always have to mean "I don't want a relationship with YOU".The last time I saw him we had a great time, but we got into an argument out of no where. During this he grabbed me very forcefully not allowing me to escape, repeatedly called me a whore, and threatened to punch me in the face. Im proud I ended things right away before I actually got physically hurt and happy it wasn't too far in where its easier to count my losses. It took me a second before I realized he was offering me a piece of candy. Who knew :) I’m wondering what are baseline qualities you look for in all partners. In other words - if the person doesn’t have these qualities, it’s a dealbreaker.
I started to analyze whether or not he could possibly have some sort of feelings also and then I'd check myself, I want things to be organic. He'd eventually stop bringing up his dating life and that's when I felt maybe he did care about me as more than a friend.just smile, laugh at his jokes, charm him with your wit, and he’ll like you.I wasn’t worried about how I looked; besides cute and clean.Opening the door I spotted him immediately; the bar wasn’t too busy for a Thursday night, a few couples and groups of friends enjoying their evening. hey, not bad, taller than you, well dressed, that scruff that makes most girls swoon. I’m met with, “ugh pass” as he rolls his eyes, reaches into his pocket to put a ten down for the drink he was halfway through, and walks out the door.The thing is, it didn’t crush me, and I know even a few months ago it would have.(Clearly didn't want me but I never felt like I wasn't worthy or anything like that.) He's been in AA and sobriety for years and I'd assume the fear of commitment ties in with a fear of relapse, but I'm no expert on this. A few months go by where occasionally one of us would reach out about something sporadic and then one day he asks when can we hang out again after a convo that was pretty light and comical.The texting banter was pretty on point and it was throughout the day almost every day for weeks before I decided to meet up with him.I took a second to recompose, flash the bartender a smile, and order a Jameson and water.I texted a friend an sos message to meet me there because I was anticipating that the situation was going to hit me a few drinks in and I’d be the stupid girl crying at the bar over a stupid boy. But the point is that I did try and now I’m brave enough to keep putting myself out there and to keep trying.Live on the edge of your emotional comfort zone and you can experience love. I’m a lot stronger than I was immediately post-divorce, so I’m happy in the way I handled myself. I guess I’m pretty happy that he didn’t waste my time?