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With this in mind, keep your responses to no more than two short (3-5 sentence) paragraphs. This might include opinions on having children or marriage, life goals, or even future planning.If something is particularly important to you, bring it up before you meet someone in person.
While that might have assuaged users' initial curiosity, people who messaged her kept harping on the subject. Vanessa*, 27, a woman of black and Asian heritage, also lists her racial background in her profile.Opt for something traditional and classy such as “Hello there, how was your day today? As you both disclose different information about yourselves, it will bring up other questions you can ask. Try to respond in a timely manner – within 24 hours – as often as possible. There will be plenty of time to talk about family relationships, work days, and political views as you establish a relationship with someone. It can be easy to get wordy when you are connecting with someone on mixed dating sites.This lets the other person know you are genuinely interested, but you also have a like, which keeps the mystery alive. These small talk is not necessary if you want to keep someone engaged. Ask about their likes and dislikes, feelings about different situations, and personal experiences. Usually you want to tell them everything because the conversation is going so well.Then there are those dating site users who bring up race as a preference rather than a dealbreaker.According to mixed-race Grindr user Ben*, 23, when people say they're looking exclusively for, say, Asians or Latinos, it's often in a fetishizing way, as if the users are looking for a race and not a person.Yet even though they found it tiring to field endless questions about what "mix" they were, some multiracial people told that they preferred online dating to dating IRL, as it gave them the ability to be upfront about their identity on their profile.Alyssa said that putting your racial background on your profile preempts the need to have an awkward conversation about it later on.Like Alyssa, she frequently receives messages pointing out how "exotic-looking" she is.But she also frequently interacts with white men who try to flatter her by saying they picked her profile specifically because they don't like to date white women.What they're really saying, however, is crystal-clear: "You look different, so you're lucky I find you attractive."reported white people tended to be the most tone-deaf when it came to issues of race."I never really chose people based on race, but white guys were the only ones I got weird racist stuff from, so I was often skeptical of them," Alyssa said.