Internet dating site nytimes com

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“People don’t want to know what’s behind the curtain,” said Mr. One of the most amazing social changes is the rise of online dating and the decline of other ways of meeting a romantic partner.

“People don’t want to know what’s behind the curtain,” said Mr. One of the most amazing social changes is the rise of online dating and the decline of other ways of meeting a romantic partner.

This lures victims who swipe or click to begin corresponding.

The perpetrators may be working out of call centers in West Africa, wooing four or five people at a time.

“It’s a reflexive urge, like hunger and thirst,” which can cloud judgment and make people less likely to question the motives of an online match.

Moreover, she said, romantic love can produce feelings of euphoria similar to the effects of cocaine or heroin, which explains why otherwise intelligent and accomplished people do irrational things to get a fix.

Young men are offered an attractive and devoted wife, which they might not have the money or social standing to obtain otherwise, particularly if they live in the Middle East, where unemployment is forcing many to delay marriage (and sex if they are devout).“There is a lot of talk about developing love, falling in love and finding love on the battlefield,” said Katherine Brown, a lecturer of Islamic studies at the University of Birmingham in Britain who researches terrorist recruitment tactics. Average financial losses are $5,000 to $10,000, but the F. It’s easy to project perfection on someone you’ve never met, particularly if, along with a pretty face, he or she is emailing, texting and calling every day or several times a day telling you how awesome you are.“For most of us, there are pockets and maybe whole sections of our minds and hearts that are not really reality-driven,” said Stephen Seligman, a psychoanalyst and clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco.

“They present quite a saccharine image of romance and marriage using the image of the lion and lioness together, supporting each other, being best friends and companions.”The F. That puts law enforcement officials in a bind when lovestruck victims so willingly and willfully participate in ruses.

There are even reports of online recruiting of youths to join the Islamic State using romance and marriage as enticements. And these are just losses reported by those who fessed up to being had.“I more often hear from people who call on behalf of a relative or friend who is getting scammed,” said Chris Grey, director of public affairs for the Army’s Criminal Investigation Command who learned quickly not to contact the victim in these cases.

Young women, particularly in the West, are promised a so-called jihottie (jihadist hottie) of their choosing for a husband. I., Homeland Security, State Department and United States Army Criminal Investigation Command have reported an avalanche of complaints about scams in the past two years. “I’ve been cussed out that I don’t know what I’m talking about because they are so infatuated with this person they’ve never even met.”Psychology experts liken this to the crushes or strong feelings of connection people develop for sports figures, rock stars, actors and other celebrities.

Of course, people have always been fools for love — it’s just that the global reach and altered reality of the Internet increases the risk and can make the emotional and financial damage more severe.“I don’t think there is a general understanding of how much of this romance scam stuff is out there, how it works and what the consequences are,” said Steven Baker, director of the Midwest region of the Federal Trade Commission.

“It’s staggering how many people fall for it.”Scammers typically create fake profiles on dating sites and apps like Match.com, Ok Cupid, e Harmony, Grindr and Tinder using pictures of attractive men and women — often real people whose identities they’ve filched off Facebook, Instagram or other social media sites.

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