Funny dating joke

Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage?A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.A: Dead people are free Q: Why are boyfriends like parking spaces? A: One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father! A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then. A: She knows she's given her last blow job Son: Is it true, Dad? Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all!

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A: it's the only war where you sleep with the enemy. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is new. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? According to the statistics, the most frequently sent SMS message from men is: "I love you too." Marriage is a great institution... A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. ' His friend replies, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. " Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. " A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?

" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?

A: About 45 minutes Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

Q: When another man steals your wife, what's your best revenge? Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. A: After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. Marriage is a 3-ring circus - Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffer-ring.Q: What's the difference between marriage and death? A: One where the trapped animal has to buy the license! A: To break the monogamy Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a husband watching Monday Night Football? Q: Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl? Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis? Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks down the aisle? Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced." She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation." A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!

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