When people first meet a new romantic interest they fantasize the possibility of choosing them as a long-term partner and imagine what a life together would be like.
These fantasies fuel the erotic and emotional feelings that are normally very strong at the outset of a new relationship.
I say quasi because there is so much to the larger context of the other person's life that one is not seeing when communicating over Facebook, phone, Skype, or text.
It's like reading a novel in which one can fill in the blanks left by the author with one's own details.
Looking at the photos a person has selected to share on Facebook can also mislead about the reality of their lives.
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A person may not think this is "cheating" per se and most people might say staying in touch with old friends is part of their right to have an independent, private life.As far as clandestine meetings go, many of these Facebook conversations and relationships are done clandestinely so that a spouse or partner is unaware of the growing emotional intensity that is occurring. Me partner of 13 years connected with 2 former boyfriends and they turned into a full online affairs. Her reasoning was just to connect with an old friend.I ran across her writing and it was anything but "just connecting". I wasn't married but a girlfriend friended two ex boyfriends.It had more to do with the potential romantic fallout that comes with interacting with someone you know you have romantic or sexual feelings for, especially those with whom you once had a sexual or romantic relationship.The potential for those feelings to be reignited and for fantasies to grow into crossing emotional and sexual fidelity boundaries are always there. We talked about it and it all started out so simply.Many couples I see speak about missing that initial passion that drove them initially to tear each other's clothes off first chance they could get.Either due to boredom or increasing tension or stress in a monogamous relationship or marriage, sometimes partners begin to fantasize about the "road not taken" and the person(s) with whom they might have taken that road.If one takes into account that the growth of Facebook users in the year between January 2010-2011 among the 55 demographic has grown 58.9%, one can assume that there are many folks in their mid-life looking up old friends and perhaps old flames as well.While the friending of an old boyfriend or girlfriend seems innocent enough, especially if they are living in a far away city or if they are married, it is the crossing of the boundary of connecting with someone who you fantasize about that might be the seed of what some would call emotional cheating.People might find that silly but nothing good can come from this.Hi Stu, Crossing agreement boundaries is a concern obviously around establishing and keeping trust within a relationship.