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I have been repeatedly sexually abused by 3 relatives during my childhood. I report this to you just so you know that you are not alone with this horrible problem.My elder brother has had forceful oral sex with me. I am into a relationship (first and only) with a guy since the past four years and we are into a physical relationship. The fact that you do not feel like trusting your boyfriend is part of the problem after suffering sexual abuse.
As verbal or any other form of domestic violence is not gender, race, culture, or age-specific, it can happen to anyone at any social strata.
As dominance is part of many cultures, verbal abuse between married couples is more or less accepted.
He knows all and wants to marry me but i dont feel like trusting him. I feel very guilty and teary always and don’t feel like enjoying anything. Most people have great difficulty with issues of trust after experiencing such things as incest, rape and domestic violence.
This is affecting my personal as well as professional life. Yet, it is a good and positive thing that you are able to have a physical relationship with him because it demonstrates that you do feel at least some trust in him.
In any case, I know you are in pain and that is why I make these suggestions.
No one expects their marriage to turn ugly, but the sad reality for many is that it does. Spousal or domestic abuse can perpetuate beyond sexual or physical abuse to a much more subtle form, i.e., verbal abuse.
It may consist of language which is demeaning, name calling, shouting, derogatory remarks, insulting, intimidating, and threatening.
It is one of the most difficult forms of abuse when it comes to assessing emotional damage being inflicted on the victim.
The abusers are often the closest possible family members.
The tears and depression you experience are also in reaction to the things done to you by your elder brother and others. Why should the person who was victimized feel guilty? However, they often do feel guilty because they blame themselves for what happened.