And "the talk" isn't really something that happens in general, I think it tends to be a mutually understood thing after a certain period of time.This is very generally speaking, of course — some people probably do have the "exclusivity talk." But Australians on the whole aren't that blunt about these sort of things.I lived in Paris, in Sweden, and in Washington state for a while. I don't know if it's an American thing or if this is just specific to New York, but the dating scene here often feels like an actual market where people try goods (several at once) and decide which one is best fitted to their needs and expectations. It feels way more organic and spontaneous in France, but that could also just be an illusion. You can find, theoretically, someone and get in the groove of things and just start dating naturally, but the talk still always happens — nothing is ever assumed. The talk is done nevertheless but just to know if you should move on or not. I think if you're dating someone for more than a few weeks, then maybe some clearer "erm, hey, are we making this a thing? British people are too awkward to have an "exclusivity talk" — I almost never hear my friends say they've had to have that talk.
Different countries approach love and relationships differently, which often makes for bizarre culture shock but also fascinating conversations.
So, we decided to gather eight women who work at Buzz Feed and who live in and come from different countries to discuss cultural differences when it comes to love and relationships.
Here they are: Marie Telling: I'm an associate editor for Buzz Feed France, based in New York.
I'm French and I grew up in Bordeaux, in the southwest of the country. Julia: I feel like, in NYC specifically, you ALWAYS have to have the talk. K., I think that it's fine to date several people at once, provided it's still at the early stages and you're not taking the piss.
Marie: Yes, I think that may be true for France too, Jenna. Julia: It's like none of us have time to get our hearts broken so we have backups, which makes me sad.
Julie: In NYC, you can't presume that you're a thing. Rossalyn: I think that is the same in a lot of major cities actually: bigger cities, more people, more dating, more options.(I feel old.) Marie: I was actually wondering about dating apps. Julie: Tinder and Ok Cupid here (in New York), as we all know. Do people use it for fun, for dating, or just hooking up?Rossalyn: It's mostly used by your friends who are in relationships to swipe through for fun.Gather a group of young and single foreigners who recently moved to New York City and at one moment or another, you'll hear them talk about how weird the dating scene in the city is.Moving to a new place, anywhere in the world, means adjusting to new dating rules and standards.Julia Pugachevsky: I'm a staff writer, live in New York, first-generation American from a Ukrainian family (so I was raised with some conflicting ideas as far as dating traditions go). Rossalyn Warren: My name is Roz, I'm a news reporter at Buzz Feed UK, I live in London, and I'm from Hertfordshire. I've lived in Sydney with my partner for the past six years, but I grew up in a coastal town near Wollongong, about 90 minutes south of Sydney. My other great love is the internet, and I spend too much time obsessing over fictional characters and their relationships. I live in Brooklyn with my boyfriend of three years. " — they just skirt around the issue until enough hints are dropped to be like, "oh, we're a thing."Conz: In Argentina it depends on how long you've been "going out." If it's been over two months, the assumption from both sides is that there is no one else around and there is no real need for "the talk." In my experience the sort of "oh, we are a couple now" moment was when either introduced the other to people as my BF/GF. Julie: I definitely feel like it's a market-style thing in the U. Jenna: In Australia it definitely seems more organic.Tasneem Nashrulla: I'm a breaking news reporter for Buzz Feed News. Conz Preti: I'm the editor for Buzz Feed Español and Brasil, born in Argentina but raised between Colombia and Brazil, moved to New York in my late twenties for grad school and stayed here ever since. I've never had the "so are you seeing someone else, are we exclusive? I feel like people probably go on dates with different people around the same time, but if they like a particular person they don't date anyone else."Julie: Especially when it comes to online dating, which has very much mirrored itself after a transactional arrangement.You're "shopping" for people you find attractive, you go on dates to check out the goods, you date to see if you'd like to make a more permanent arrangement.Julie: Not necessarily sleep with, but at least date. S., has taken root in India only in the last couple of years (that I've been away for). It felt so pragmatic and un-French to me that I never thought it would take off. You are not ~really~ on a dating app, you are swiping photos.I was shocked to hear that friends in Bombay actually use Tinder. Earlier, there were two ways to go about it: Either you're "messing around" with someone, as in having a casual fling where you're not necessarily exclusive and both know this is a casual, fun thing. Dating, as in sleeping or making out with different people, is a little alien to me, but apparently common in Bombay now. Mind you, I don't actually know anyone who is really using it. Marie: I wonder if Tinder is used for the same thing everywhere?