My husband always would joke around about me having a crush on him. He has been telling me for months I need to stop my feelings for the other person and change.I told my husband before July that I wanted a divorce. I can't stop my feelings for the other person; he is all I think about.After that, my husband stopped drinking, and has given up a lot for me and our two kids since then. Now there is someone that I have very strong feelings for and have had for years.
So you tried to find another man to take your husband's place.Your husband's drinking and drunken abuse completely wiped out anything you had ever felt for him.He was making you miserable, causing massive Love Bank withdrawals.I am not happy and I do have feelings for someone else. That's why most people marry -- they want to be together for life with the one they love.I don't want to go against God but I do want to be happy. But when they have that feeling for someone outside of marriage, they often can't even remember being in love with their spouse.So you decided to end your suffering with a divorce.I don't know why you didn't go through with it, but I can guess.My 8 year old daughter doesn't want us to get a divorce but even she tells me it would be okay because of all the fighting we do. But when I read the letter, I consider the primary issue to be alcohol and abuse leading to infidelity.I don't feel like I love my husband enough to stay married. If the issue I consider primary is resolved, the issue you consider primary will be solved. When we feel it for someone, everything within us wants to make that person a part of our lives.Your first attempt failed, but got his attention: He stopped drinking.But his sobriety didn't change your ultimate plan to leave him, and now you're working on your second attempt.